


After Arcadia

by gracelessAesthetic



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, pricefield
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2018-07-18 13:45:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7317604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gracelessAesthetic/pseuds/gracelessAesthetic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The storm has come and gone.  Max made her choice, and now she and Chloe have set out to start a new life for themselves.  They decide that the best course of action is to head up to Seattle, to reconnect with Max's parents, but what then?  In the weeks and months that follow that terrible day, Max will have to learn to come to terms with the choices she made and the guilt that came with them, but she is never, ever alone. As her relationship with Chloe deepens into something much more than friendship, they learn to rely on each other as they confront the demons that dwell within.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Highway 101

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *EDIT: WOW OK I NOTICED A GIGANTIC MISTAKE HERE I CANNOT BELIEVE IT DIDN'T GET POINTED OUT BUT I FIXED IT

            Max stared out the window of Chloe’s ancient pickup truck, watching the ocean as they drove down the highway.  Everything seemed so calm and peaceful, afternoon sunlight dancing on the waves.  There wasn’t a single sign of the terrible destruction that had taken place up the coast less than a day ago.  But Max knew better, and she felt like shit because of it.  It was her fault.  She could have stopped it, but she had chosen to save Chloe instead of the town.  And she knew that even if she went back that far, she’d make the same decision each and every time.  She didn’t regret her choice, but she felt guilty as hell about it. 

            She and Chloe hadn’t spoken much since they left the town.  They’d stopped by Chloe’s house to pick up some clothes, money, and a few other necessities.  They had briefly discussed going to look for survivors, but decided against it.  Neither of them could bear finding the bodies of those they loved. 

            “If anyone survived, I’m sure they’ll find a way to contact us.” Chloe had said as they left the town line.  “But I… I don’t think I want to see anyone if they didn’t make it.”

            Max had agreed.  She had tried so hard over the past week, gone back so many times to make everything right.  But no matter what she did, something always went wrong.  Someone would get hurt.  And it had been up to her to decide who that would be.  No one should have to make that decision, especially not an 18-year-old senior in high school.  How was it in any way fair?

            Max and Chloe had talked for a bit about where they would go now, what they would do next.  It didn’t take them long to decide that they should head up north to Seattle, to Max’s parents.  Unfortunately, Max’s phone had died and her charger was back at Blackwell, so she had no way of contacting her parents to let them know she was okay.  It was all the more reason to go see them.  Besides, they had hardly any money.  It wasn’t as if they could get by on their own for very long.  A part of Max was surprised that Chloe didn’t suggest going down to L.A. like she had once wanted to do, but she suspected that the idea’s connection to Rachel hurt too much.  L.A. was for Chloe and Rachel, and Rachel was dead.  That dream had probably died with her.

            Their silence was finally broken by the growls of Max’s stomach.  Chloe laughed quietly in response.  “I guess we should probably find somewhere to eat, huh?”

            “Yeah, I didn’t even realize how hungry I was.  You haven’t eaten anything either, have you?” Max glanced sideways at her friend.

            “Not exactly top priority, but you’re right.  I’ll keep my eye out for something.”

            About ten minutes later, they spotted a small roadside diner off the highway.  A faded sign hanging out front identified it as the Dogfish Diner, and it looked as though it had been there for about 50 years.  There were only four other cars in the parking lot, and all but one were faded rust buckets like Chloe’s truck.  Chloe pulled into a vacant space, and they walked through the ancient wooden door.  As soon as they stepped inside, they both froze.

            The interior design bore a remarkable resemblance to the Two Whales Diner back in Arcadia Bay.  The counter stretched down for almost the entire length of the restaurant on one side, and vinyl-topped seats with metallic tables made up a row of booths on the other.  Unlike the Two Whales, the floor here was made of worn down wood instead of black and white linoleum, and the place had a distinctive musty smell, but Max could easily imagine her fellow students at the booths, the regulars at the counter, and Joyce making her way between the patrons, refilling coffee and catching up on the latest in their lives.  She felt her throat tighten and her vision blur as tears welled in her eyes, and she quickly blinked them away.  She stole a glance at Chloe, but the other girl showed no emotion, her face a steady mask.  Max knew then that she had made the same connection, and her concern grew.  She knew better than to bring it up, though.

            The solo waitress called to them from behind the counter to take any seat they liked, and without thinking, they made their way to the second to last booth.  The waitress, a plump, middle-aged woman with curly black haired pulled back into a bun, soon came over to them with a pair of menus.  Her nametag read “Page”.

              “Can I start you off with any coffee?  You girls look like you could use some.” Page remarked.

            “Um, sure, thanks,” Max answered halfheartedly.

            “Where are you two from, anyway?  You look a little young to be this far out in the middle of nowhere.”

            “We’re from… down south, near Gold Beach.  Got a week off from school and figured we'd take a road trip.”

            “Oh yeah, I remember the days.  If you came along 101, did you happen to pass by Arcadia Bay?  Reports on the news this morning say it was wiped out by a freak tornado.  Don’t know yet if anyone’s survived.”

            Max felt her heart speed up, and across the booth, Chloe stiffened.  “No we… we must have missed it.  That’s awful, though.” She fought to keep the tears at bay again, grief threatening to overpower her.  She realized, just then, that she had not yet allowed herself to properly mourn, and the middle of a diner was not the place to let that happen. 

            “Well, I’ll be back with that coffee.  You girls let me know when you’re ready to order.”  She disappeared into the kitchen.

            Max let out a shaky breath and looked over at Chloe.  She was staring glumly at the cover of her menu.  She hadn’t said a word since they had entered the Dogfish.

            “Chloe?” Max said quietly.  “Are you okay?”  _Stupid, Max, of course she isn’t okay._

            “I don’t feel very hungry anymore.  I feel fuckin’ sick to my stomach.” Chloe muttered, her voice raw with barley contained emotion.

            Max reached a hesitant hand across the table.  “I know, I know.  I feel rotten, too, but we need to eat something.  We still have a long way to go.”

            Chloe was silent for several minutes, then sighed.  “You’re right, Max, of course.  I just…” She trailed off, leaving the thought unfinished.  She took Max’s hand in her own and gave a squeeze.  Max held on tight for a moment, not knowing what else to do.  Finally, they broke apart and reluctantly took up their menus.

            The food selection seemed about the same as any other roadside diner, consisting of burgers, sandwiches, steaks, and the local catch.  When Page came by with their coffee, they put in an order for two burgers, neither of them really caring what they put in their stomachs.  They remained silent until their food came, ate quickly, paid in cash, and left without getting change.

            Once back on the road, they drove only a couple of miles before Chloe jerked the wheel to the right, stopping short on the side of the road.  She put the truck in park and punched the roof hard enough to sag the lining.

            “Dammit!” she yelled, tears forming in the corners of her eyes.  “Fucking hell Max, that was fucked up.  That was so fucked up.” She was sobbing now, the tears flowing freely.  “Why?”

            “I’m sorry, Chloe, I’m so sorry.  We should have… gone somewhere else, I don’t know.  It sucks, it really fucking sucks.” Max unbuckled her seatbelt and reached across the cab to put her arms around Chloe’s shaking shoulders.  They held each other tight, both crying now, both unable to fight it any longer.

            “I miss her, Max.  I miss her so much.” Max didn’t have to ask to know that she was talking about her mother.  “Why do I keep losing people?”

            Max only hugged her tighter.  “I don’t know.  I promise, I’m never leaving you, Chloe.”

            “You better fucking not, Max, or I’ll never forgive you.” Chloe bowed her head into Max’s chest, her fists gripping the fabric of her gray hoodie.  Max laid her hand on the back of Chloe’s neck and rested her cheek on the top of her friend’s head.          

            They sat like that for a quarter of an hour until, tears finally spent so that there was nothing left to cry, they broke apart. 

            “Well, that was fuckin’ embarrassing.” Chloe chuckled weakly, the first laugh Max had heard from her since before the diner.  “Guess we needed that, huh?”

            “Yeah,” Max wiped the remaining tears from her cheeks.  “We did.  You ready to press on?”

            “Ready if you are, Super Max.” Chloe shot back, using the now-familiar nickname.

            “Maybe not that super…”

            “Sorry, you’re right, poor form on my part… but look, Max, you saved my life.  Not just yesterday, but all week.  All this started with you saving me, and I… I’m so, so grateful for that.  I know I was ready to, y’know, sacrifice myself in a blaze of glory, but I didn’t… I didn’t want to die.  Not when you’d finally come back to me.”

            Max was at a loss for words, but she knew Chloe meant every word.  “I couldn’t lose you.” She finally whispered.

            “I know, and that’s why I don’t blame you for what happened.  If it was me with the crazy powers, I’d save you.  Every time.” They stared at each other for a long moment, and Max felt a rush of affection for her friend.

            “Okay, enough with the mushy stuff.” Chloe said, shaking her head.  We need to get going before it gets dark.”

            “What are we even going to do about sleep?  I don’t know about you, but I’m not exactly crazy about sleeping on the side of the road.”

            Chloe gunned the engine back to life and pulled back out onto the highway.  “I’m sure we’ll find something we can afford.”

            “Even if there’s rats?” Max teased.

            “Even if there’s rats.”

            As it turned out, they didn’t have to worry about rats.  Or roaches, for that matter.  They managed to find a small, seaside inn a few hours later just outside of Lincoln City.  Lodgings were only $70 a night for a one bed room, and they pooled their money and were handed a key to room 10.  They each only had one duffle that they had salvaged from Chloe’s, plus Max’s camera bag.  Max didn’t even have any of her own clothes.  She had borrowed some of Chloe’s things, even though they were a bit big on her.  She had stoutly refused to grab the clothes of Rachel’s she had worn on Wednesday.  Chloe definitely didn’t need that right now.

            The room was small, but cozy, and had a definitive nautical theme, with faded blue and tan striped wallpaper, a seaside painting on the wall, and blue sheets on the bed.  It was cleaner than anything they had hoped for though, and smelled faintly of the ocean.

            They dropped their bags at the foot of the bed, too exhausted to be meticulous.  Not that Chloe had ever been all that organized.  A glance at the glowing alarm clock on the nightstand told Max that it was already after nine.  The sun had already set, and she was more than ready to get a good night’s sleep.  They hadn’t gotten any the night before, having waited out the storm huddled together by the lighthouse.  Max was amazed that Chloe had been able to stay awake long enough to drive them this far, but she had seemed determined to put as much distance between them and Arcadia Bay as possible.

            Chloe dug through her bag for her toothbrush and stumbled into the bathroom.  Max realized she was going to have to skip for the second night in a row.  She almost laughed out loud at the absurdity of it.  After everything they had been through, she was still worried about cavities.

            “Wanna borrow mine?” Chloe asked, popping her head out of the bathroom, responding to Max’s unspoken thoughts.

            “Alright, have you developed your own powers and didn’t tell me?” she teased.

            “What?  No, I just know you, Max.” She handed over her toothbrush.  “Afraid of my cooties?”

            “Yeah, right.  If I cared about that, I wouldn’t have kissed you.” Max felt the heat rise to her face as she remembered the dare.  It felt like a lifetime ago, but in reality it had only been three days.

            “Just brush your teeth.” Chloe laughed, turning away back into the main room.

            When Max was finished, she found Chloe laying on the bed in her sleep shirt and panties, and it dawned on her that she had no pajamas of her own.

            “Well, I’m a genius,” she mumbled to herself.

            “Come on Max,” Chloe yawned.  “Get in bed already.  I’m exhausted and we’ve still got like, a million miles to go tomorrow.” She patted the bed next to her.

            Max blushed again.  “I don’t have anything to sleep in.”

            “So?  Sleep nude.  I don’t care.” Her tone was casual, but the touch of color in her cheeks implied otherwise.

            “I’m turning out the light.” Max huffed.

            “Since when did you get shy?”

            “Since… always…” Max offered lamely.

            “Whatever, dude, just get your ass over here.  I need some Max cuddles after this shitstorm of a day.”

            Max crossed the room and flicked off the light switch, then stripped down to her underwear.  She knew Chloe was right, that she was being ridiculous, but she couldn’t help it.  Her feelings for her best friend had gotten a lot more complicated over the past several days.  Chloe was trying to make light of it to put her at ease, but it wasn’t working.  She was a bundle of nerves as she climbed under the covers.  She kept her back to the other girl, and nearly jumped when she felt warm, strong arms wrap around her bare torso.            

            “Wow Max, I can feel that.” There was definitely a teasing tone to her voice.

            “Feel what?” Max asked stupidly.

            “Your heart.  Did you surgically replace it with a jackhammer?”

            “Oh, shut up,” Max retorted.

            “It’s fine, you know,” Chloe buried her face in Max’s hair. “If you feel that way about me.” Drowsiness had made itself apparent in her voice, and within seconds, she was fast asleep.

            Max’s heart was still thudding away in her chest, but her own exhaustion prevented her from putting too much thought into Chloe’s words, and soon her body relaxed, and she drifted away into a heavy slumber.


	2. Homecoming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI WOW OK I AM SO SO SORRY I AM SUCH TRASH FOR TAKING SO LONG 
> 
> The REALLY sad part is that the chapter was almost done like TWO MONTHS AGO. I just had to tack on like, the last few paragraphs. But life happened, and other projects, and I just... yeah. I wish I could promise a more regular update schedule, but I have a full-time job that is very physically demanding, so writing time is more limited. I CAN promise that I have not abandoned either of my fics, and I am SO grateful to those of you who have stuck around. Hopefully you'll enjoy what I get out there!

Chloe awoke the next morning to find a nearly naked Max still asleep on the bed next to her.  She yawned and rubbed the sleep from her eyes, trying to remember the night before.  They got to the inn, and… Briefly Chloe wondered if something had happened between them, but… no.  They had been exceptionally tired, she knew that much.  Her mind was still foggy, but she was certain she remembered Max saying something about not having any pajamas.  Yes, that was it.  _Come on, Chloe, why does your mind always have to jump there first?_ She bereted herself.  She glanced over at Max’s sleeping form again.  Her back was turned towards Chloe, but the sight of so much bare skin still brought a wave of heat to her cheeks.  She shook herself, trying to push the thoughts out of her mind.  Now was definitely not the time to get into that.

            She stretched and let out a particularly satisfying yawn, then glanced at the clock on the bedside table.  The glowing red numbers, paled in the morning sunlight, told her that it was just a little before ten.  Well, at least she hadn’t slept the day away.  She glanced around the room and was overjoyed to find an old-looking coffee maker on the long table along the opposite wall.  Chloe dragged herself out of bed and trudged across the room.  She found that it was one of those single-serving makers, but the inn had supplied the room with four packets, so there would be plenty for the two of them.  She filled a cup with water from the bathroom sink and poured it into the machine.  The thing started with a protesting gurgle before finally settling into a steady drip.  Satisfied that it wasn’t about to explode on her, she made her way over to her phone.

            It had been charging all night, and Chloe hesitated before powering it on.  When she finally did, she waited a full five minutes before finally accepting that she had no new messages.  She had mostly come to terms with the reality that her mother had likely not survived, but a part of her had still held out hope.  However, if Joyce had made it through the storm, she would have found a way to contact Chloe by now.  A splash of water smudged the screen of her phone, and Chloe blinked in surprise: she hadn’t realized she was crying.

            After she got her coffee, she decided to check the news for any updates on the Arcadia Bay story.  Rescue workers and other authorities had been on the scene for the past 24 hours, doing their best to find survivors.  From what Chloe could figure, there had at least been some.  She scrolled through, hoping to see at least one familiar name.  Finally, one on the list did jump out at her: Katherine Marsh.  She couldn’t help it, she let out a whoop of triumph, which caused Max to wake with a start.

            “Wh… what is it?  What’s happening?  Chloe?” she said groggily.

            Chloe swiveled around in the chair where she was sitting.  “Sorry, Max, I didn’t mean to wake you, but I’ve got some good news.  Kate made it!” She thrust her phone towards Max, and the other girl practically tripped over herself getting to it.

            Chloe watched as Max’s face transformed from one of disbelief to bittersweet joy.  “Well, I’m glad to see some people made it, even if…” Max trailed off.  Then, her eyes widened.  “Chloe, look!  Pompidou made it!”

            “What?  No way!” But sure enough, there in a photo, was an all too familiar dog, dirtier than ever but otherwise unharmed.  Chloe felt herself crack a genuine smile for the first time in over a day.  She couldn’t explain it, but for whatever reason, she had really needed that damned dog to have survived.  Sure, it had caused them a bit of trouble over the past week, but it was just a dog.  It was only trying to protect its master, and certainly didn’t deserve to perish in that monster storm.  She read through the blurb by his photo.  Apparently, they were still waiting for someone to come along and claim him, but so far, no one had.  She had the sinking feeling that Frank hadn’t made it.  If he had, nothing would have stopped him from being reunited with his beloved mutt.

            “I wonder what’s going to happen to him… If Frank didn’t make it, and I don’t think he did, I hope he finds a good home,” Max said, a note of concern in her voice.

            Chloe remained silent, knowing that what she was thinking was crazy, uncertain if she should even voice it at all.  Fortunately, Max spared her from having to make that choice by saying it first.  “Should we go back for him?”

            Chloe couldn’t help it, she laughed.  “Damn, Max, now you’re the one reading minds.”

            Max smiled up at her.  “Maybe we’re just getting more in sync.  So you were thinking it, too?”

            “Yeah, I mean… I feel like we owe it.  To Pompidou, to Frank… even to Rachel, in a way.  But going back… it would mean have to explain things that we really just… couldn’t.  How do we tell them that we just left like that?”

            “Yeah, it feels like it would be impossible.  I guess… we could tell them we left when we saw the tornado coming, to get to safety, and we waited until we knew it was clear to come back.”

            “That might work… but we’ve also got to consider that it’s a five hour drive back the way we came, and I’m sure you don’t want to delay seeing your parents any longer than necessary.” Chloe wracked her brain for an answer, but none came.

            “That’s true, but… I also want to see Kate.  I know we can’t tell anyone the truth, but she should know that we’re okay…”

            “We just had to have different kinds of phones, didn’t we?” Chloe mused.  “We need to get you a charger.  Hey, maybe a gas station or something has a cheap one that fits yours.  We should go into town and find out.”

            Max agreed that that would be the best solution for now.  As much as Chloe wanted to, they simply couldn’t afford to turn back now.  “Maybe you can ask Kate to take care of Pompidou, or at least make sure nothing bad happens to him,” she suggested.  Max affirmed that she would.

            They got dressed, packed their things, and checked out at the front desk.  They then started driving until they hit the main city.  Lincoln City was a small seaside town, much like Arcadia Bay, and Chloe felt the same heartbreaking sense of familiarity overcome her as she had in the diner.  The layout was different, of course, and it came off as a bit more sophisticated, but she still felt homesick, a feeling she never thought she’d associate with the sleepy old town.  She managed to hold herself together as they made their way along the main road.  About ten minutes later, they came across a promising looking convenience mart.  Their luck held out when Max soon found what they were looking for.  The charger was a generic one, but it fit her phone and only cost $10.  Chloe doubted it would last long, but they didn’t need it to.  After paying, they asked the cashier if he knew of a place with public access to an outlet, and he told them there was a Starbucks across town.

            “I guess those places really are everywhere,” Max joked once they were back in the truck.  It didn’t take them long to find the place, and Chloe bought them breakfast while Max found a table near an outlet.  By the time Chloe joined her, she had already gotten her phone up and running.  Within minutes, it was buzzing so much Max had to put it completely on silent.  She had multiple texts from her parents, who had by now heard about the disaster and wanted to know if Max was alright.  She also had, as she had predicted, a couple from Kate.  The truly surprising one had come from none other than Victoria.

            “You know, as much of a bitch as she was, I’m really glad to know she’s okay,” Max smiled.  “I think we kind of made up, in the end.” 

            Chloe watched as she composed replies to everyone, letting them know that she was alright, that she and Chloe had made it out of town.  She apologized profusely to Kate and Victoria for not looking for them, telling as much of the truth as possible without revealing everything.  Kate was, of course, forgiving and understanding.  Even Victoria didn’t have it in her to be difficult, instead expressing her relief over Max’s safety.  Her parents wanted to know how long it would be before they could expect them.

            Chloe pulled up Google maps on her phone.  “Looks like we’ve got another four or five hours, depending on traffic, but we should get there before nightfall.”

            Max sent a few more texts before a large grin overtook her face.  “Kate said she’d be happy to take care of Pompidou.  She’d always wanted a dog, apparently.  I’m glad to know he’ll be in good hands.”

            “Me, too.” Chloe agreed.

            They ate their breakfast slowly, waiting for Max’s phone to sufficiently charge before they set out once more.  Chloe couldn’t help but notice that Max was in noticeably higher spirits after getting in contact with her friends and family.  A week ago, she would have been jealous and put off by Max’s fortune, but so much had changed in that time.  She had changed.  She knew she had been a selfish ass towards a lot of people, but she was determined not to go down that path again.  Yes, she had lost so much, but she had Max, and right now, that would have to be enough.

            They filled the truck’s tank on the way out of town, and turned onto the I-5 North, the road that would take them straight to Seattle. As they headed more inland and away from the coast, Chloe watched as the scenery around them changed, and the familiar salty scent of the ocean faded for good.  They crossed the state line a little after noon, and stopped for lunch in a small city an hour later.  Their conversations came and went, often about small things, occasionally dipping into the more serious subjects.  When they had nothing to say, they sat in a comfortable silence, Chloe occasionally checking the radio for any quality stations.  The music would come in clear for a while before fading to static, and at times it was so bad she gave up the excursion all together.

                         Once they left Vancouver behind, it was mostly trees along the Interstate, with only a few scattered towns and cities along the drive.  They finally reached Olympia in the early evening, where they stopped for dinner and another gas refill.  Chloe was grateful that their journey was almost over, because they money supply was getting dangerously low.  From there, they only had another hour until the bright lights and towering skyscrapers of Seattle came into view, the sun setting to the west and casting a serene light over the city.

            “Hey Max, I just realized, I need directions.  I have no idea how to get to your place.” Chloe finally said, breaking another silence that had settled between them.

            “Oh, yeah, I didn’t think about that.  Um, get off at the 157 and follow Martin Luther for a ways.  I’ll let you know what to do next then.”  Chloe nodded, and their exit came up soon enough, and they pulled off the Interstate. 

            After several minutes, Max spoke again.  “Turn right on S Henderson Street, and then a right on Renton.”  Chloe did so, and then proceeded to follow Max’s instructions to go left on Roxbury and left again on 52nd.  Finally, Max told her to park along a moderately crowded street, in front of a simple, rustic-looking pale blue two-story house.  There were two cars parked in the driveway, and the lights were on in the front window.  Chloe noticed a face peek through the curtains at the sound of the truck’s arrival.  She cut the engine, and they hopped out of the ancient pickup.  Before they could even get their things from the back, two figures had dashed down the driveway and enveloped Max into a smothering hug.

            “Oh, Max, you’re here, you’re alright!” her mother cried.  “When we didn’t hear back from you right away, we thought…we thought…”

            “We’re just so glad you’re home, sweetheart,” Mr. Caulfield said, his voice thick with emotion.

            “I’m happy to be home,” Max said, burying her face in her parents’ shoulders.  They looked much as Chloe remembered them, plus a few additional years.  Her father’s hair was cropped short, his bead thick.  Mrs. Caulfield’s dark hair was longer than it had been when they had moved away, and there were more lines on her face, but she still had a sort of youthful energy about her.  Chloe finally looked away from the scene to retrieve their luggage, but she didn’t get very far.

            “Chloe Price, is that you?” Ryan Caulfield called.  “I hardly recognized you!  Get over here!”

            Hesitantly, she made her way to them.  They were all staring at her, warm smiles on their faces.  Max’s eyes shone with unshed tears, her face beaming.  She reached out a hand, and Chloe took it.  Max pulled her closer, their fingers intertwined.  Max’s mother took Chloe’s face in her hands.

            “Oh Chloe, I am so, so sorry, truly I am.  I can’t even begin to imagine what you must be feeling right now, and I know we can’t replace what you’ve lost, but please know, you’re welcome in our home.”  Chloe felt her throat tighten as tears once again threatened to spill.  She then felt a hand on her shoulder, and turned to see Ryan beaming down at her.

            “Vanessa’s right.  I know you haven’t seen us in a while, but I hope you’ll stay.”

            Chloe glanced at Max, who was looking at her with concern.  “You will stay, won’t you Chloe?  I… I don’t think I can do this without you.”

            Finally, she nodded.  “Of course I will.  Thank you.  Thank you all so much.” And then she could hold back the tears no longer as the Caulfield family pulled her into a tight embrace.  Her shoulders shook with sobs, and she realized she wasn’t the only one crying.  Finally, after several long minutes, their tears spent, they pulled apart.

            “I know it’s a little late, but we can make up a guest bed for you if you like.  We have a spare room upstairs.” Ryan offered.

            “Um…” Chloe hesitated, unsure if she should mention that she preferred sleeping next to their daughter.

            “Actually, Dad, I think we’re gonna stick together, at least for now.  After… everything, I don’t think we should sleep alone.” Max interjected, sparing Chloe from any more awkwardness.

            “Of course, sweetheart, we understand.  We can figure everything else out later.  You two just come inside.  You’ve had a very long couple of days.”

            Mr. Caulfield helped them carry their bags inside and up the stairs to Max’s room.  Chloe chuckled when she saw that the décor wasn’t all that different from Max’s dorm back at Blackwell.  The walls had a couple of posters but were otherwise covered in photographs, some taken from magazines, but most, Chloe could tell, were Max’s own handiwork.  A full-sized bed was up against one wall, and across from that sat a desk with an older Macintosh desktop.  There was a bookshelf next to the window, its shelves filled with an assortment of fiction and photography books.  It was much cleaner than the Blackwell dorm, but Chloe suspected that that was more due to a lack of recent occupation than anything else.

            After setting their bags down at the foot of the bed, Ryan said, “I’ll leave you two to settle in.  Come on downstairs when you’re ready.”

            Max thanked her father, then gently shut the door behind him before throwing herself on the bed.  Chloe sat down next to her and placed a tentative hand on her back.

            “What do I even say right now?” Chloe mused after several minutes of silence.

            Max, whose face was still in her pillow, muttered, “For once, I have no idea.” She turned towards Chloe.  “So, was that okay?  I mean, did you want the guest room, or are you cool sharing?”

            Chloe laughed out loud.  “No way Max, we’re sticking together, remember?  No fucking way you’re getting rid of me now.”

            Max smiled up at her, and Chloe’s thoughts drifted back over everything they’d been through over the past… was it really only a week since Max had come back into her life?  It was getting harder and harder to imagine a time when she wasn’t there, bringing a brightness into Chloe’s otherwise dark life.  She didn’t even want to think about going forward without her.

            Max sat up and stared around her room, taking in the familiar surroundings.  Chloe watched her, unable to take her eyes off her friend… was friend still the right word?  Chloe wasn’t so sure anymore, but she knew now was not the time to bring that up.  A part of her felt bad for even thinking of that sort of thing at a time like this, but after everything, she couldn’t help it.  Max had chosen to sacrifice an entire _town_ for her, chosen to save Chloe over everyone else, and while the loss of their loved ones cut deep, Chloe was deeply grateful at this second chance at life, and she owed it all to Max.

            Chloe continued to watch Max as she finally got up and crossed the room to her dresser, pulling out an old worn out pair of pajamas.  Chloe decided getting changed into something more comfortable was an excellent idea, and she rummaged through her backpack for her own sleep clothes.  She shrugged out of her trademark black jacket and was just about to tug off her tank top when she was overcome with a sudden wave of self-consciousness.  Her back was turned to Max, but she was very aware that the other girl was also changing, and all she had to do was turn around slightly to catch a glimpse of bare skin.  The memory of Max’s lips on hers came back, unbidden.  The very thought made her face heat up.  Shaking herself, she quickly got changed, immensely frustrated that she didn’t seem to be able to stop her thoughts from turning down that direction.  When she finally turned around, Max was safely dressed in a faded blue t-shirt two sizes too big, and mint green lounge pants.  They were so simple and silly, and yet they suited Max perfectly.  Chloe smiled.

            “What?” Max asked, catching her grin.

            “Nothing,” Chloe responded, doing her best to keep her voice neutral.  “You just look so very _Max_ right now.”

            “And what is _that_ supposed to mean?” Max chuckled.

            “Who the hell even knows?  I’m so out of it, I’m just spouting bullshit at this point.  Come on, let’s go downstairs.  I’m starving, and I bet your parents want to spend every possible second with you.  It’s disgusting how loving they are.” 

            “They love you, too,” Max said, her voice quiet.

            “I know,” Chloe whispered back, looking away.  She then felt Max’s hand slip into hers and give it a reassuring squeeze. 

            “We can do this, Chloe.  I know we can.  It’s going to be rough for a while, but… but have to keep going.  We won’t ever let ourselves forget what happened, or the people we lost, but we can’t waste this.  I have _you_ back in my life, and I’m never losing you again.”

            Chloe could only stare down at her best friend, lost for words, but she knew Max didn’t need her to say anything.  So much passed between them then, unspoken but deeper than anything words could articulate.  Chloe felt so much at once, pain, anger, loss, but also love and hope, things she hadn’t felt much over the past few years until this week.  Max was right: it _was_ going to be rough for a while, but they would find a way to get through it.  They had to, or else what was the point of it all?

            “Alright, enough mushy stuff,” she managed to say, her voice choking slightly.  “Let’s go eat.”  Max smiled and nodded and, her hand still linked with Chloe’s, led the way down to the kitchen.


	3. Adjustment Period

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHOOPS  
> I swear I never forgot about this or abandoned it. I just... kind of lost my writing mojo. Hopefully it'll stick around. Although, I will say, the delay worked out, since I have a wealth of new information to use to tug at your heartstrings now that Before the Storm has been released. >:D

       

Max bolted upright in bed, sweat dripping from her brow as she took in a gasping breath.  She could feel her heart threatening to break out of her ribcage, and her entire body was shaking.  The dream had been so vivid, so real, she had been certain she had gone back in time to that night… the tornado tore across the waves before her as she and Chloe stood on the cliff, watching the impending destruction of their town… only this time, a strong gust had knocked Chloe off-balance, and Max had been helpless, frozen on the spot as the precarious bit of ground beneath her friend had crumbled away, sending her to the swirling grey waters below.  Max had tried to rewind, but her efforts had been in vain.  She had doomed the town and failed to save the person who mattered most. 

            Max wiped the sweat from her forehead, her heart rate returning to normal, although her breathing was still somewhat shaky.  Only then did she realize that it was still dark.  She glanced at the glowing clock on her bedside table and saw that it was just a little after four in the morning.  Looking to her other side, she was amazed to find Chloe still fast asleep.  Somehow her tossing and turning hadn’t disturbed her friend.  Thinking back now, she recalled how Chloe had always been able to sleep through just about anything, a great annoyance to her parents on more than a few school mornings.  She smiled sadly to herself at the memory, drawing her knees to her chest and hugging herself tightly as she stared off into the darkness of her room. 

            It felt so strange to be back here, in a familiar place where nothing strange or unexplainable had ever happened.  Five years this had been her home, but a month back in Arcadia Bay made it feel almost alien to her.  How could everything just be so normal when she knew the kinds of things that could happen?  The kinds of things _she_ could do?  What was going to happen now?  Was she just going to pick up where she had left off?  Go back to her old high school and finish up her senior year?  And what about Chloe?  She was a dropout and Max doubted she had any intention of taking up classes again, even to get a GED.  A week ago, she had known what she wanted to do with her life, had a vision of the future she hoped for, but now all she could think about were the events that had already transpired.  For the first time in ages, she couldn’t imagine what the next steps to take were. 

            She glanced again at Chloe’s sleeping form, one arm above her head, blue hair spilled out around her on the pillow as she snored gently, her face relaxed and peaceful.  Clearly, her sleep wasn’t being plagued by nightmares.  _Good_ , Max thought.  _I’m the one who made the choice, I’m the only one who should suffer.  She’s been through enough._  

            Deciding that there was nothing to be done for it now, she slowly eased herself back under the covers, careful not to disturb her friend.  Sleep came slowly as she stared up at the ceiling, willing her mind to steer clear of the troubling thoughts that seemed determined to plague her.  Finally, her eyelids drooped, and a dreamless sleep overtook her.

*****

The next week passed in a surreal blur. Max and Chloe slowly adjusted to life in the Caufield household, and Max’s parents made no attempt to get them to talk about what happened. On one hand, Max was grateful to not have to relive the storm, but on the other, it almost felt as if they were treating the girls with great delicacy, as if the slightest provocation could break them. For their own part, Max and Chloe had not really discussed the past week much even among themselves. It was nice to pretend, just for a bit, that things were normal, but Max knew it couldn’t last. Sooner or later, they were going to have to face reality, and there would be decisions to make.

            One week after their arrival, Max’s mother finally brought up one unspoken subject over breakfast. Max and Chloe were still in their pj’s, lounging on the couch with bowls of cereal and watching old cartoons, when they heard Mrs. Caufield clear her throat.

            “Good morning, girls,” she began. Max hit the mute button, and turned to see her mother wearing a familiar hesitant expression. She tensed, unsure of where this was going. “I know it’s been a… tough week for you, but there is something we need to discuss. Or rather, I need to talk to Max about.”

            “Uh… what’s up, mom?” Max asked, bracing herself.

            “It’s about school. Your father and I didn’t want to put this on you right away, but we can’t ignore it forever. You do still have the majority of your senior year to finish, and you can’t wait too much longer before going back. I know it’s probably the last thing you want to think about right now, but, well…” she trailed off.

            Max let out a sigh of relief. Just school? She could handle that. “Yeah, you’re right, Mom. I guess vacation can’t last forever…” She glanced at Chloe, who had stopped eating to pay attention to the conversation. She noticed immediately the faint flicker of anxiety in her friend’s eyes. “Er… what about Chloe?”

            “Well, we discussed that, too,” her mother said. “We realize that Chloe is an adult, and we can’t make her go back to school if she doesn’t want to…”

            While she didn’t say the words, Max could guess what her parents had talked about: Chloe was more or less turning into a freeloader, and while they had no intention of kicking her out, especially in light of all that had happened, she couldn’t just sit around the house forever. Chloe seemed to pick up on the unspoken thought as well.

            “I can get a job!” she blurted, then blushed. “I mean… I should, right? I don’t want to mooch off you guys forever. Besides, I’ll need something to do while Max is stuck at a desk all day, right?”

            Mrs. Caufield smiled. “Good idea, Chloe. I’m pretty sure I saw a few ‘Help Wanted’ signs in windows last time I was in town. Maybe you and Max could go and check it out later today?”

            “Sure thing, Mom,” Max said, and Mrs. Caufield, apparently satisfied, left them to their breakfast.

“You really okay with this?” Max asked Chloe, unable to keep the concern from her voice. “We haven’t really been apart since… you know. My mom’s right, though. We can’t keep holed up in here forever, and I know they aren’t going to let me skip the rest of my senior year. They’re being nice now, but if push comes to shove…”

Chloe chuckled uneasily. “Yeah, I remember how they can get. But it’s only ‘cause they care.” She hesitated, and Max waited without saying anything. Finally, she continued. “It’ll be okay. I mean, it’s just during the day. Gotta face the world eventually.”

Max nodded, relieved. She had known, of course, that they would have to deal with reality sooner or later. She had secretly hoped for a little more time, but her mom was right. The longer she stayed out of school, the more difficult it would be to catch up, and October was nearing its end.

Breakfast finished, bowls washed and on the drying rack, the two of them headed back to Max’s room to change. They had decided to go into town so Chloe could check out any potential employment opportunities. It would give them something to do, as well as satisfy Max’s parents.

Chloe spent a good ten minutes digging around to find the keys to her truck, which had not been touched since the night of their arrival. The Caufield house was a sanctuary; anything beyond it was unknown, dangerous territory, or so it had felt.

“I’ve got no clue where I’m going, Max. You’re gonna have to be my GPS again,” Chloe joked as she rummaged through the pockets of a dirty pair of jeans. “Ahah! Found the little fuckers!” She held up her prize by the oddly disturbing panda keyring. Max had no idea why Chloe had chosen it, but then she had never bothered to ask.

Back down the stairs, out the front door after a quick farewell to Max’s mother, and then they were back in the familiar truck, bobblehead waiting patiently for them to send him nodding along once more. Max gave Chloe directions into town and found herself somewhat excited to share this part of her life with her best friend. For five years they had been apart while she established a new life here, away from the life she had led in Arcadia Bay. Two cities, two states, two Maxs. When she had gone back to Arcadia Bay, she had felt herself slip back into that old life, at least until the world turned upside down. But having Chloe here was different. For the first time it felt as if her two worlds were colliding. As they pulled into the parking lot of the shopping center ten minutes later, Max stared in wonder as Chloe got out and looked around. Chloe, who had come back into Max’s life right when everything changed, seemed so incredibly out of place here, in this plaza where Max had spent many a weekend with friends or her parents. It, like her home, was a place of normalcy and simplicity that could not possibly exist in the same world as time travel and inexplicable weather. She just _might_ have been able to pretend that they didn’t, except there was Chloe, blue hair and trademark black jacket, standing in the middle of the parking lot, her very presence a confirmation of all that had happened.

“Okay, Mad Max, where should we head first?” Chloe clapped her hands together, clearly trying to maintain an upbeat attitude. Max could tell, though, that she was scared. Unsurprising, considering that all of this was new for her.

“Well, we could try Target? Or… or maybe the bookstore! That might be a good place. It’s a bit quieter.”

“Bookstore? Max, that’s so _you_ ,” Chloe laughed. “Come on, you know me! Quiet? Who wants that? Are there any music stores around here?”

“Just at the bookstore. Yes, they sell music. And they have a café. Really, you should give it a chance,” Max chuckled at the skeptical look on Chloe’s face.

“I get the feeling you just want to go shopping, you nerd.”

“Guilty as charged. So, kill two birds with one stone, yeah?”

Over an hour was spent inside the store, where Max took careful time browsing all the newest releases in fiction while Chloe inquired about applying. As it turned out, the place was in fact hiring, and the manager told her all she needed to do was apply on their website. Chloe, who had rarely had access to such a large bookstore, ended up thoroughly enjoying herself, taking in the wide selection that made the independent shop back in Arcadia Bay seem like a closet.

While Chloe made her way over to the music section, Max moved towards the science department, specifically physics. She made her way slowly through each title, looking for anything that mentioned time, hoping that something, _anything_ , might present answers to so many questions that had been plaguing her for more than a week. After several minutes, Max was disheartened to find nothing of use. There were no titles dedicated to the subject, and the few books that talked about it at all mostly dealt with the theory. They said that going _forward_ in time was possible, if you were to leave Earth in a spaceship traveling fast enough. While only a few years, for example, might pass on your ship, you would return to Earth to discover that much more time had passed. Going _back_ in time, on the other hand, was impossible, as it required faster than light travel. Placing the third title that yielded no valuable information back on its shelf, Max sighed in frustration. She realized that everything scientific that pondered time travel theories all based their ideas around using machines of some sort in order to accomplish the task. There was nothing pertaining to an individual human developing the ability to move through time on their own.

“Of course there isn’t anything, Max,” she muttered out loud. “What were you expecting?” The hopeful answer was that someone, somewhere, had experienced something similar. But then again, even if they had, would they have told anyone, let alone publish a book about it? No, people would think they were crazy. Even Chloe had taken some real convincing before she believed. Accepting that there were no answers to be found in the pages of a science book, Max made her way across the store in search of Chloe, expecting her to be looking through the CDs, but instead caught a glimpse of blue hair over in the ‘Personal Growth’ section, nose buried in what was unmistakably a lesbian sex book.

 “Chloe, what the hell are you doing?” she whispered as she approached her friend.

Laughing, Chloe passed the book over to Max. “Dude, can you believe this? That little po’ dunk shop back home would _never_ have something like this!”

Max’s face burned as she hurriedly placed the book back on the shelf, but not before she had gotten a good look at the image on the page Chloe had opened to. “You really have no shame.”

“Aww, loosen up, Max! No one cares! They wouldn’t sell this stuff if you weren’t supposed to check it out,” she teased, eyebrows wiggling suggestively. Max gave her a light shove before turning, desperate to go _anywhere_ else.

Chloe was still chuckling as they walked out of the store, where they were surprised to find that light grey clouds had moved across the sun during their time indoors. Max shuddered involuntarily, and Chloe’s laughter cut short. They stood there, staring up at the sky for a long, drawn-out moment, neither of them speaking. Finally, Chloe took Max’s hand in her own and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

“I know. It’s the first time seeing this kind of weather since…” She didn’t finish the thought. There was no need. Max knew exactly what she was going to say. Seattle had been uncharacteristically sunny for the past week, much to everyone’s relief.

They drove in silence as the sky opened and the first few drops of rain fell, forcing Chloe to switch on her wipers. The water that hit the roof of the truck seemed, at least to them, unnecessarily loud, each hit a forced recollection of the last time they had been under grey skies. By the time they made it back home, the storm had really picked up, and Max’s sneakers were instantly soaked as she dropped into an inch-deep puddle that had formed in the gutter on the passenger side curb. She cursed as she felt the icy water seep through to her feet as she and Chloe dashed up the driveway and through the entryway, already kicking off their dampened footwear even as the door slammed shut behind them. Max’s mothered called after them as they practically ran to Max’s room, but Max barely heard her. She leaned back against her bedroom door, breathing heavily, partly from their mad dash and partly from the emotional upheaval the sudden turn of weather had instigated.

Sliding down until she touched the carpet, she felt Chloe sit down next to her and reach a tentative arm around her shoulders. Neither spoke for several minutes, until Chloe finally cleared her throat.

“Well that was…”

“Kind of pathetic?” Max ventured.

Chloe let out a hoarse chuckle. “Yeah, I guess you could say that. Done in by some fucking rain. What are we, ten?”

“When we were ten we would have taken advantage of this to go splash in the biggest puddles we could find,” Max said, nostalgia warming her voice.

“Captain Bluebeard and Long Max Silver didn’t give a shit about a little water. Are we seriously bigger babies than those prepubescent dweebs?”

“Well… things are a little different now,” Max responded, taking care to consider her next words. “After… what happened… we weren’t prepared, that’s all.”

“We’re in Seattle now. If we can’t deal with some drizzle we’re gonna be in for some serious trouble.”

“We’ll get used to it. It’s just a normal, non-apocalyptic rainstorm. Nothing to worry about. Although… It does give me an idea,” she smiled, turning towards her friend. Chloe stared back, eyebrow raised.

“Are you thinking hot chocolate? I know you, Max. You always want hot chocolate when it gets cloudy.”

“And some dorky movie. Come on, you know you want to.”

“How can I say no?” Chloe shook her head, but Max didn’t miss the smile of relief on her face.

The rest of the evening passed in the safety of the living room, wrapped in warm blankets with a marathon of the most obscure movies they could find on Netflix, mugs of cocoa and a bowl of popcorn that they never let empty always sitting within reach. By the time they called it quits, their heads were fuzzy and their stomachs were aching, but they were happier than they had been all week.

Chloe was snoring mere seconds after her head hit the pillow, but as Max pulled the covers up, the high of the evening quickly faded, and doubt seeped in to take its place. Her mind drifted to the rainfall that afternoon, and then back further still, until she was shivering despite the extra blanket and Chloe’s warmth just inches away. The ever-present ache of guilt, normally suppressed just beneath the surface, managed to rear its ugly head, and Max felt silent tears run slowly down her cheeks until they soaked into her pillow. She squeezed her eyes tight, forcing her thoughts away from the macabre, determined not to succumb to the overpowering darkness that threatened to consume her. Not now. Not tonight. The tears soon dried, but it was a long time before sleep finally found her.

           


	4. Tempest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :::SPOILER WARNING FOR BEFORE THE STORM:::  
> Okay, had to warn, in case any of you haven't played yet and don't know what happens, this chapter does reference some major things from it (and, as with the first game, I'm basing it off the choices I made in-game).
> 
> And yes, I know, less than a week between chapters! It turns out that certain subjects are easier for me to write than others, so I got a sudden inspiration tonight and just went with it. Hope you enjoy! :)

The days passed, and the air became crisper as the temperature continued to drop while the sun became a rare phenomenon. Max started school again the Monday after their outing, and Chloe was pleasantly surprised when the bookstore called her about a week later to come in for an interview. She had been worried that her lack of experience and standout appearance would be instant disqualifiers, but as it turned out the store didn’t care much about those things. The manager told her that it was difficult to find someone with such open availability this time of year, and Chloe had noticed upon her second visit that she wasn’t the only one sporting dyed hair and visible ink. She had gotten the job, and so while Max spent her days in a classroom, Chloe learned the ins and outs of working at a bookstore, memorizing where each section was, familiarizing herself with the register and all its functions, and, two weeks after starting, a venture into the café. She had been surprised to find herself enjoying it, once the initial anxiety faded away. She didn’t want to let on, but being away from Max for so long after spending nearly every minute together had been nerve-wracking. She had always counted on Max to step in and save the day when shit hit the fan, but now she’d have to handle things on her own. No voice of reason at her side, and no chance to rewind, either.

 _Not that I would even dream of asking her to do that again,_ Chloe had berated herself the second the thought crossed her mind.

As most of her shifts were during the day, she and Max usually had evenings together, eating dinner with the Caufields and discussing the most mundane topics. The sense of tranquility that had descended over the household made it feel as if they were living a normal life again, as if things had gone back to how they used to be.

Almost.

It wasn’t until a week after Halloween, when Chloe was digging through clutter strewn about the room she still shared with Max that she found it. It was sitting in a cubby on the lowest level of a shelf that stood in one corner, undamaged, but covered in a fine layer of dust. Max’s camera. _My dad’s camera,_ Chloe thought automatically. It was then that she realized for the first time that not once in the month that they’d been there had she seen Max take any pictures. The discovery shook her so much that she found herself sitting on the floor with no recollection of consciously deciding to do so.

Photography was Max’s passion, her dream, her very livelihood, even when they were still kids, long before Blackwell and Rachel and Mr. Jefferson and her powers. Chloe could hardly remember a time when Max didn’t have a camera nearby, always looking for moments to capture for eternity, details no one else would think to notice. Chloe knew Max had real talent, despite the fact that Max often voiced her own doubts on her abilities. Taking pictures was as important to Max as eating was to everyone else. And yet here was this dusty camera, very concrete proof that she had been starving herself for nearly a month. Chloe was having a difficult time wrapping her mind around the fact.

Chloe carefully removed the camera from its spot, holding it gently as she blew the dust from its surface. There was no mistaking it for anything new; its surface was scratched in several places, and the off-white color was a telltale sign of the era in which her father had purchased it. Its appearance was unremarkable, but the old device had more meaning to it than just about anything else Chloe owned. Thinking about how long it had gone unused until she gifted it to Max, knowing her dad would have wanted it to live up to its potential, she felt a sudden onset of anger knowing that it was once again sitting around. For a brief moment she wanted to wave it in Max’s face and demand an explanation. But Max was still at school, wouldn’t be home for another hour, and soon the desire faded, replaced by an overwhelming wave of sadness as she realized just _why_ Max had let it sit forgotten all this time. She turned it over in her hands, examining every inch of it while fighting back the tears that were threatening to spill forth. But the fight was soon lost, and she eventually gave in and let herself cry, something she hadn’t done in weeks. As she sat there, hugging the camera to her chest, curling into a protective ball around it, she was forced to confront the fact that she had been trying to pretend, to forget, not just that last week in Arcadia Bay, but the years leading up to it as well. With a jolt of horror, she realized she hadn’t just cast aside the bitter memories, but the good ones, too. Her mother, frustrated with her attitude but never once wavering in her love. The few kids at Blackwell who had been decent, like Steph, Mikey, even Drew. And Rachel. God, how could she not let herself think about Rachel? She could feel the wall she had carefully thrown up in her mind crack, crack, then _shatter_ , into a million pieces, and the memories came flooding in.

That first night in the old mill. Skipping school and riding the train, fooling around in the park that day Rachel’s reality had first begun to come undone. She recalled how quickly her feelings had grown for that beautiful, mysterious, and complicated girl, a girl she would not once have imagined giving a good for nothing troubled punk like Chloe the time of day. And yet she had. For reasons Chloe couldn’t begin to fathom, Rachel had chosen her, of all people. She closed her eyes and let her mind drift back to the night of the play. How she had been asked so suddenly to step in. How embarrassed she had felt, until… until Rachel altered her lines. It had been that moment, Chloe knew, that she became certain of her feelings. She remembered walking the streets, so quiet and peaceful, discussing their plans to leave Arcadia Bay for greener pastures. Asking Rachel to prove she was serious. That first kiss…

So much that had followed had been chaos. The truth of Rachel’s parentage and all the shit that eventually followed with Nathan and Frank and that monster of all monsters. Chloe knew now that Rachel hadn’t been faithful. The knowledge had hurt, she had been angry, and at first she had refused to believe it. She understood it better now that she had time to reflect. Rachel’s life had been hell, and as much as Chloe wished that she could have been the one to take away all the pain, to be Rachel’s angel in the way that Rachel had been hers, she saw now that that was too big a job for just one person. Rachel had been broken, gone to a dark place Chloe could not reach. It still caused a twinge of pain, but it paled compared to the agony that consumed her whenever she thought about how she would never see Rachel again. How she hadn’t even been able to go back and give her a proper burial. Fresh sobs wracked her body, and she hugged the camera closer as if in doing so, she could somehow reach across the void and hold Rachel again, at least one more time.

“I forgive you,” she heard herself say, voice trembling and broken. “I forgive you, I forgive you, I forgive you.”

It wasn’t just Rachel she spoke to. She called to her mother, to Max, even David, but most importantly, to William. Forgiveness filled her, and she didn’t know how she could, but she tried to will it outward, to reach all of those to whom she had felt bitterness, resentment, to those she had been unable to absolve of the sins she perceived to have been committed against her. Those who had angered her. Those who had left her. She cried without restraint and muttered her words over and over until her voice died in her throat, raw now from so much use. The tears ebbed until she felt so drained, she didn’t know how she’d ever be able to move again. She sat there, still curled in a ball against the side of the bed, camera still clutched in her arms, but with none of her previous ferocity.

Chloe hadn’t heard the door open, hadn’t heard the voice call her name as footsteps hurried towards her, but suddenly Max’s familiar arms were pulling her in close, so close, holding her in the one truly safe place she had left. She was dimly aware of bringing her own arms up and wrapping them around Max’s small frame. She would have cried again, but she had nothing left, and so was grateful for the wet splash on her neck that told her that Max cried for her, even has she held her tight in an unwavering embrace.

Chloe finally raised her head, looking up at Max for the first time, her cheeks damp with fresh tears, her eyes bright. Chloe’s reaction happened almost of its own volition. Her hands moved until they were grasping the edges of Max’s worn grey hoodie, pulling her down until her face was less than an inch away, close enough for Chloe to close the distance and press her lips to Max’s with such urgency that she surprised herself.

Max hesitated for half a second before responding in turn, one hand coming up to tangle in Chloe’s hair. Chloe shifted slightly and then Max was no longer kneeling before her but straddling her lap, and Chloe was desperate to get as close as humanely possible, closing the last inches between their bodies. She took Max’s face between her palms without once breaking the kiss. She discovered in that moment that she did indeed still have some reserve of tears left, and she didn’t try and hold them back. Max was warmth, Max was safety. Max was home.

****

Chloe heard the scrape of the chair behind her, and she turned from the bacon she was frying for a moment to see Max, hair still untidy and fighting in vain to suppress a yawn, sitting at the kitchen table.

            “Morning, sleepyhead,” she said, doing her best to keep her voice casual. Unable to keep the blush from her cheeks, she hurriedly turned back towards the skillet. “Hope you’re hungry.”

            “Starving. But since when do you make breakfast?” Max asked with a chuckle.

            “Hey, I make breakfast all the time!” she shot back, indignant.

            “Yeah right. Pouring cereal into a bowl does not count as making anything other than a mess. It’s a victory if you don’t get any milk on the counter,” Max teased.

            “Alright smartass, no bacon for you.”

            “Ah, wait! I repent, I repent! Don’t withhold the bountiful treasure that is fresh bacon, Captain Bluebeard!”

            Chloe laughed aloud at Max’s use of her childhood moniker, relief washing over her as it became apparent that what had transpired between them the day before had not resulted in any awkwardness. They hadn’t gone any farther than the kiss, and had sat long after in each other’s arms, Max listening patiently as Chloe confessed the cause for her breakdown. Max had surprised Chloe by asking her to tell her more about Rachel. She had hesitated, unsure of how appropriate talking about her deceased ex-girlfriend with the girl she had been making out with only minutes before would be, but Max had assured her it was okay. She had figured it would do Chloe some good to talk about, and she had been right. Some things had been hard to voice out loud, and the unburdening process had left her feeling emotionally raw, but in the end Chloe had felt, well, _rejuvenated_ seemed the best way to describe it. Like scraping away the diseased layer so the new, healthy skin could finally grow in. The fresh exposure hurt, and would hurt for a while, but in time it would heal.

            The entire ordeal had left them both exhausted, and so without going down for dinner, the two had gotten ready for bed in a comfortable silence. Chloe recalled falling asleep with her arms around Max, but when she had awoken that morning, she found she had rolled over and opened her eyes to nothing but a blank wall. It had been a chore clambering over Max slowly, carefully so as to not wake her. It was a Saturday, and Chloe had the day off. Normally, they would take advantage of the rare mutual free day to either lounge around in their pajamas or take a trip into town, but after last night, Chloe wasn’t sure what would happen. What were they to each other now? This wasn’t the first time they had tiptoed into waters beyond those of friendship. Hell, it wasn’t even their first kiss, although that last time had lasted only a second, nothing more than a dare Chloe had issued on a whim. She certainly hadn’t expected Max to actually _do_ it, and was even more surprised when she found herself thinking about it more than once after the fact. Sure, Max had gotten rather attractive over the years, somehow managing to make the dorky hipster look hot, and Chloe had always cared about her more than just about anyone. Until Rachel, that is. But Chloe hadn’t really considered the possibility of anything happening between them, especially when she still had hopes of finding Rachel. Since then, there had been plenty of reasons to not think too much into it. Max hadn’t brought it up, and Chloe had been hesitant to do so herself in the fear that, now that they were no longer facing apocalyptic disaster, Max no longer wished to pursue that road. And so Chloe had said nothing, forcing her questioning feelings to stay buried, content to have the comfortable friendship that they had established. It was getting far more difficult to ignore it now.

            These thoughts ran through Chloe’s mind as she finished frying the bacon, as much as she could get on the pan, before moving onto the eggs. When she finally set the plates at the table and took her seat across from Max, she waited with anticipation for her friend to take the first bite.

            “Hey, this is pretty good!” Max said, unable to keep the surprise from her voice.

            “Glad to know you had confidence in me, Max,” Chloe said, rolling her eyes. “You think I didn’t pick up a thing or two from mom over the years?”

            Max smiled sadly but said nothing at the mention of Joyce. Chloe felt it too, but had decided after the day before that she didn’t want to pretend everyone she had lost hadn’t existed. Not talking about them didn’t change what happened. It hurt, and it would always hurt, but at least now she could finally do something right by them.

            They talked casually as they ate, mostly about school and work, but as she sat there she couldn’t help but take in every detail in Max’s face, how animated she got when talking about something funny that had happened in class, or the way she rested her face in her hand when she was listening to Chloe, eyes focused in rapt attention, a small smile lighting up her face. Chloe’s heart picked up a bit as she found her thoughts drifting to how Max’s lips had felt, warm and soft against her own. Kissing her had felt as natural as breathing, and Chloe was on the verge of saying something. She opened her mouth to speak, but instead of bringing up the kiss, she said instead, “Hey, just wondering, but have you talked to Kate lately?”

            _What the fuck? Where did that come from?_ Chloe wondered to herself.

            “Huh? Well… no, not really, now that you mention it. It’s been a couple weeks,” Max grimaced. “Last time we talked she mentioned moving in with family somewhere upstate. I really should talk to her more… I hope that won’t make you mad.”

            That caught Chloe off-guard. “What? Why would that make me mad?”

            “Well, because…” Max paused, seemingly unsure if she should voice her thoughts. “Because I didn’t talk to you after I moved, and I don’t want you thinking that me talking to Kate means I care about her more. It’s just that… I want to learn from my mistakes, so I don’t fuck up again. I know it’s a sensitive subject…”

            Chloe fought the urge to laugh, knowing Max would probably misunderstand it. “Dude, I’m the one who brought it up, right? No fucking way am I gonna get mad. You’re right, you fucked up before but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be better about it now. Trust me, I’m kinda the master at fucking up.”

            “No, you’re not.” But Max was smiling now as she stood to clean her plate.

            Chloe smiled as she watched her, momentarily lost in a daze before reality came crashing back in. _Good job, fuckass coward. Great job bringing_ that _up. Not gonna be weird if you say anything now, no, not at all._ She sighed, resigned to the fact that she had missed her shot, not knowing when the opportunity would present itself again. It seemed as if their moments alone were few and far between, what with Max’s school, Chloe’s job, and the frequent presence of one or both of Max’s parents. But the moment was lost now, as Mr. Caufield chose that moment to walk in through the front door, commenting on the smell and bemoaning that they hadn’t left any for him. They laughed, sounding so much like a family, and Chloe felt warm with happiness as she watched Max and her father. She might have missed her chance, but for now, this would be enough


	5. Withdrawal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of a long one, and I went through several revisions, hence the delay. Hopefully you guys enjoy!

Branches scraped at Max’s face as she pushed her way through the thick underbrush, boots kicking up small clouds of dirt in their wake.  Chloe coughed from somewhere behind her.

            “Why are we doing this again, Max?” she grumbled.  Max couldn’t help but chuckle.

            “Because it’s fun, duh.  Besides, what happened to that adventurous spirit of yours, huh Chloe?” Max teased.  “Didn’t you always want to go off on pirate journeys for treasure?” she said with a swashbuckler’s growl.

            “Yeah, yeah, smartass,” Chloe retorted.  “We’re not kids anymore.  I’m too old for this.”

            “Too old?  Chloe, you’re not even 20.  Stop being such a dramatic baby and enjoy the great outdoors!”  Right on cue, the wind picked up and blew a cluster of leaves right at them, a couple of them sticking to Max’s hair.  It was Chloe’s turn to laugh as she stepped forward to pluck the unwanted hitchhikers away.  Max felt her pulse quicken at the sudden closeness, and hoped that any flush to her cheeks could be attributed to their physical excursion.  A week had passed since _it_ had happened with neither of them mentioning it, and Max had almost convinced herself that it had simply been a heat of the moment type of thing, both of them caught up in the emotional upheaval at the time.  If Chloe didn’t want to talk about it, Max wasn’t going to make her.  And, if she was being perfectly honest with herself, a part of her was afraid of what the answer would be.  She didn’t _want_ to hear Chloe say, “Sorry Max, I just needed the comfort but it won’t happen again.”  She shook her head in an attempt to chase away that particular train of thought.  She had suggested the night before that they take a day trip out to Wenatchee National Forest, since once again Chloe had a Saturday off from work.  At the time, it had seemed like a good idea, a way for them to spend some time together in a perfectly normal situation.  They were both a bit out of shape, and the effort they had to put into the hike helped keep Max’s mind from _other_ things.  Or at least it had until now.  Now, they were standing there, inches apart, and Max was at a loss for something to say.  Fortunately, Chloe broke the silence.

            “Man, I really am out of shape though,” she groaned, stretching her arms high above her head, causing the hem of her shirt to lift, revealing a sliver of flat stomach.  Max felt her face flush and quickly turned away.

            “Me too, but we can do this!” she said, pleased that she was able to keep her voice even.  “At least it’s pretty cool out.  I definitely wouldn’t want to do this in the middle of summer.”

            “Don’t even think about trying to drag me out here in the heat,” Chloe threatened, and Max laughed.

            “Yeah, yeah, I know, you’re such a badass.  I’m real scared.”

            “Uh-huh, let’s just keep moving.  Supposed to be enjoying fucking nature or whatever, right?”

            They pressed on, soon making their way clear of the heavier flora and out onto a well-worn dirt path.  Once they got onto even ground, surrounded by tall pines, a gentle breeze keeping them cool, the mood between them relaxed significantly.  Max found the setting serene, no noise but the rustling of leaves, chirping of birds, and the occasional scuffle from an unseen animal somewhere off the main path scurrying through the undergrowth.  It was nice to get away from the city, away from the sounds and smells of cars and industrial life.  Here, the air was crisp and clean, and even though the trek required a good deal of energy, her body felt rejuvenated.  Her mind, too, was beginning to clear.

            She had followed Chloe’s advice the previous weekend and contacted not only Kate, but Victoria as well. Both were doing well enough and beginning to readjust to life after the storm. While Kate had only moved upstate, Victoria had gone down to California, where she had family. Their messages were light in tone (and a bit dramatic on Victoria’s end), but Max suspected that neither of them were anywhere near recovered. They had lost family and the life they had known. Not only that, but they had both been going through extreme emotional troubles right up until the storm hit. And Max… Max had been unable to shove aside the guilt. Of course, she could never tell them the part she had played in the events that had upturned all of their lives. They wouldn’t believe her, and even if they did, how could they ever forgive her, especially when she couldn’t forgive herself? She hadn’t voiced these thoughts to Chloe. She was certain they would only bring back her own sense of guilt, and that was the last thing Max wanted. No, the burden was hers and hers alone to bear. She was certain she would get through it, eventually, even if that “eventually” didn’t seem to be anywhere in sight. At least out here, in the serenity of nature, she was finally able to cast aside the anxieties that had been plaguing her for the past week. Well, most of them, at least. Yet, in an odd way, she was glad to have her feelings for Chloe be at the forefront of her troubles. It was so absurdly _normal_ , so unlike the vast weight of responsibility she would always have to bear, it was almost welcome. 

            “You are way too quiet, Max,” Chloe said after several minutes, breaking the silence.

            “Oh… Sorry, just enjoying the… nature,” Max mumbled, cringing at her less-than eloquent word usage.

            “Right…” Chloe said, skepticism coloring her voice. “I know you, man, so nice try. What’s on your mind? Come on, spill it,” she said as she stepped in front of Max, hand reaching out to rest on her shoulder. There it was again. Touching. Closeness. Max stared at the hand, the chipping blue nail polish that matched the shade of her friend’s hair, the end of the tattoo that was just visible on her wrist beneath the cuff of her jacket. For a moment, she envisioned herself tracing the ink in its entirety with her fingers, slowly, taking in every detail. She shook away the idea and realized that she had been holding her breath, letting it out again in a shaky exhale. Finally, she tore her eyes away to meet Chloe’s, questioning with just a hint of concern. Still, she hesitated before answering. Chloe was right, she knew her too well, and she was in too much of an emotionally vulnerable state to convincingly lie regardless. The decision now remained… which truth would she tell?

            “It’s Kate… and Victoria, too,” she finally blurted. “I just… I wish there was more I could do to help them, but I wouldn’t even know where to begin. I’m sorry, I didn’t want to say anything. I didn’t want it to be your problem, too.”

            Chloe shook her head, eyes wide in amazement. “Max, you dork, of course I want you to tell me shit like this. I want to be there for you, remember?”

            “I know, I know, I’m sorry, it’s just… I wanted to enjoy the day, you know? Just be… normal. For a little while.”

            “I think we might be just a little past _normal,_ Max,” Chloe smirked. “And besides, after the waterworks show you witnessed from me last week, don’t ever think you have to hide what you’re feeling.”

            Max tried to find the words, but whatever she might have said got stuck in her throat. It was the first time she had heard Chloe talk about the previous Saturday, and even if she didn’t say anything about what transpired between them _after_ the emotional release, it was still enough to bring those memories rushing back. Memories of soft lips and arms wrapped tight, of ragged breathing and a quiet, burning desire for _more._ The direction her thoughts had taken must have shown on her face, for Chloe’s own expression shifted, eyes widening as a pale pink blush spread across her cheeks.

            “Well, uh…” Chloe coughed and turned away, all awkwardness now. “Now that that’s out of the way… shall we keep going?” Max could tell she was forcing herself to sound bright and carefree, but it was painfully obvious that they were now both thinking the same thing. And neither of them was willing to voice it.

            “Sure. Lead on, Captain Bluebeard!”

 

****

As November faded into December, and the air became thick with the upcoming holiday, Max was forced to confront the fact that time did not, as she had hoped, ease her guilt. Instead, it became her constant companion, always there, usually at the back of her mind but at times leaping out to consume her, drowning her in its overpowering sensation. Time did not ease it, but it did allow her to grow accustomed to it, something akin to an ache in a joint, never really leaving but only occasionally causing true impairment. It was this culpability, she knew, that laid first the foundation and, as time wore on, each brick in the wall between herself and Chloe.

            It wasn’t intentional, not really. It first began with the acknowledgment that while she could do nothing to change what happened (nor would she, if the only other path was losing Chloe forever), she could at least be certain to never let herself forget the blame. And so, somewhere in her mind, she decided that she had no right to pursue anything further with Chloe. For what right could she have to something so potentially wonderful, a prospect that filled her with absolute joy, when she had been the cause of so much pain and suffering? She had already abandoned her camera, cast aside one thing that had always brought her comfort. While she had no desire to cast Chloe away in the same manner, she could at least shut down the part of her heart that yearned for more. She quickly discovered, however, that it was not so easy. Merely being around Chloe was now causing her stomach to squirm, and she was finding it harder and harder to form coherent sentences. Fortunately, she was also approaching winter finals, and so Chloe attributed her newfound lack of articulation to academic stress, but Max latched onto this reasoning to slowly put more and more distance between them. She needed to study, needed to focus on her classes, especially since she had missed so much time back in the fall. Chloe, for her part, seemed unphased, and this solidified the idea in Max’s mind that their kiss had indeed been a one-time occurrence.

            The rapid approach of the holidays also meant that Chloe’s store was getting busier and busier, and they now had her working fulltime, often late-night closing shifts, so by the time she came home and crawled into bed, close to midnight, Max was already asleep. They still shared a room, and a bed, for it would seem odd after all this time for Max to suddenly suggest Chloe finally take the guest room, not to mention how much the idea voiced aloud would hurt her. Regardless of their shared living space, they saw less and less of each other as they became immersed in their individual occupations. Max was dimly aware of the growing numbness that was quickly replacing the swirls of emotions that had been a part of her for so long now, but that’s the thing with going numb: you aren’t truly conscious of it. It takes you quietly, replacing sensation with nothingness, and because you can’t feel it, you can’t really stop it. She probably wouldn’t have wanted to, anyway. It was easier, in a way. Besides, it allowed her to focus more on her tests. She didn’t particularly care about school anymore, but it was something to occupy herself with and an excuse to remove herself from much in the way of socialization. But then… it was over. The last bubble on the scantron in her final class before three weeks of winter break was filled in, her pencil tucked away in her bag, and suddenly her only source of distraction was gone. This realization didn’t hit her, not at first. No, the lack of sensation that had overtaken her for weeks prevented her from noticing until two days later, when Chloe had a day off.

            The day was still young, and Max was hunched over a plate of toast at the kitchen table. Both her parents were at work, and she had come down to an empty kitchen. The silence had been welcome, and her thoughts were far away, somewhere indistinct, so she didn’t hear the thundering of Chloe’s excited footsteps on the stairs that announced she was awake.

            “Max! You’re finally free, I’m free… it’s been fucking forever since we did something together! Let’s seize the day, do some dumb holiday shit like ice skating or something. Come on, I’ll probably fall on my ass. It’ll be hilarious.”

            It took Max a minute to process the intrusion to her mental wandering, and she slowly looked up from her breakfast to look at Chloe in confusion. “Wh…what?”

            Chloe raised an eyebrow at her. “Someone isn’t awake yet. And no wonder! No coffee? I’ll brew some. You need it.”

            Max watched as Chloe busied herself preparing the coffee, as well as breakfast for herself. It occurred to her then that she couldn’t recall he last time they had really spoken. The act of it now almost felt foreign to her. She knew it was partly by design on her end, an effort to keep her growing feelings at bay, and up until now it had been easy. But now… what excuse was there to be had? Chloe was right, they were both free for the day, and it didn’t seem possible to avoid spending time with her. Alone.

            “So,” Chloe said as she placed a mug of steaming coffee next to Max before taking her own seat across the table. “What are we going to do today? I still say ice skating.”

            “I don’t know… I don’t think I’d be very good at it,” Max mumbled into her coffee.

            “Neither would I, that’s the point!” Chloe exclaimed, somehow fully animated despite having just woken up. “We can laugh at how much we suck, and then we can nurse our bruises over lunch.”

            Max said nothing, opting to take another bite of toast instead. Finally, it seemed, Chloe began to take notice of Max’s reluctance.

            “Okay, okay, if you really don’t want to, we can think of something else. Maybe a movie? It can be a date,” she said with a suggestive eyebrow waggle.

            “I can’t,” Max blurted, the words slipping out before she had the chance to stop them. A part of her mind was horrified that she’d voiced that out loud, but the sense of detachment still held her in its clutches, and she watched as Chloe’s expression changed from one of playfulness to confusion and, finally, hurt.

            “You can’t? Can’t what? Do you not want to spend time with me? Is that it? Or did you already have plans. If you did, just say so, it’s fine,” Chloe said, her voice wavering.

            “Yes. No. I mean… no, I didn’t have plans, it’s just…”

            “Just _what_ , Max? I know you’ve been busy with school lately, but that’s done! And I actually have today off, so I figured maybe, just maybe, you might want to spend it with me. But clearly I was wrong.” Chloe was silent for several seconds, before adding, much more quietly, “Can you at least tell me what I did wrong?”

            Max’s head jerked up in surprise. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Chloe, I promise.” She was startled to hear her voice shake, just slightly, her heartbeat accelerating. The sensation was the mental equivalent of finally getting the feeling back in your leg after sitting on it too long. Unpleasant, prickling, and impossible to shake off.

            “Then what is it, Max?!” Chloe cried.

            “It’s me! It’s me, Chloe. I can’t… being around you has been… I don’t know what to do about it!” Max struggled to put everything she had been feeling into words and found herself struggling to do so. “I just feel _so guilty_ all the time, and I don’t want you to think for one second that I regret what I did, that I regret saving you, because I don’t. I wouldn’t do things differently, not even if I went back a hundred times. And _that’s_ why I feel so terrible! Because I _don’t_ regret, and all those people died, people we care about. How can I let myself be happy when I did all that?”

            “Fuck, Max, I _told_ you not to keep this shit from me! I told you I can handle it! I don’t know how to make things better, but I can at least be there for you. Why push me away?”

            “Because I’m falling in love with you!” Max’s hands flew to her mouth, eyes wide, horrified that she had finally confessed the truth that had been building inside her for so long. But it was done, out there, and there was no recalling it now. She looked down, unable to meet Chloe’s gaze, terrified of what she would find there. Chloe said nothing, though, and finally the tension got to be too much, and Max slowly raised her eyes to look at her friend’s face.

            Chloe looked back at her, mouth agape, all traces of anger gone. When she finally spoke, her voice was quiet, the words catching. “You…” She swallowed. “You’re in love with me?” A blush colored her pale cheeks, and her eyes were… demure? Max could only nod.

            They stared at each other for what felt like hours, but what in reality was no more than a minute. Max searched for the right words, hoping she could convey the turmoil she had been feeling in a way that Chloe would understand. “Don’t you see, though? I couldn’t just… _tell_ you. I didn’t feel like I had any right. And then I wasn’t even sure you felt the same. After what happened… that day, you never said anything about it. You were so chill, I figured it wasn’t that big a deal to you.” She shook her head. “I didn’t want to make things awkward.”

            “So you just pulled away,” Chloe stated, bluntly calling her out. “You really didn’t think I felt the same? And what’s this bullshit about the _right_? Seriously, Max? You think you don’t get to be happy? Give me a fucking break.” She rolled her eyes, but her tone held no harshness.

            “Well… maybe. Yeah. It just… I don’t know, it made sense at the time, but right now you’re doing a great job of making me feel like a fucking moron.”

            “That’s because you _are_ a fucking moron, Max,” Chloe grinned, making her way slowly around the table until they stood mere inches apart. “Look, you got stuck with impossible powers in an impossible situation. You didn’t ask for it, but fuck, it happened anyway. You did what you could. And if… if things had been reversed, and I had the wacky time powers, I’d have chosen you.”

            Max searched her eyes and saw the sincerity. “So just… stop being a fucking moron,” Chloe said softly as she leaned in, their noses now touching, lips millimeters apart. Max swallowed in anticipation, and then Chloe’s mouth was on hers.

            Their third kiss was nothing like the previous two. This was no quick peck on a dare, nor was it a tempest of raw emotion and desperate need. This was soft yet firm, a kiss of declaration, of affirmation. Max found her arms snaking up and wrapping around Chloe’s neck, pulling herself closer. She kissed her back, and sensation ran from her lips to the tips of her toes, enveloping her in its purity, and she lost herself in it. Finally, they parted, foreheads pressed together, before Chloe pulled her into a tight embrace.

            “In case it wasn’t insanely obvious,” she muttered into her hair, “I love you, too. Dork.”

            Max chuckled weakly. “Yeah, I was starting to gather as much.”

            “Good to know your detective skills are still sharp.”

            “I try,” Max responded, knowing it was a lame reply but finding that she didn’t care. “And I hope it’s not too late to change my mind on this, but I would love to go ice skating today.”


End file.
